Mark Bingham Page 2 (Back to page 1)
Even so, it appears that Mark not only did not "go quietly into that good night," but joined the man across the aisle from him and others in what was a successful effort to overtake the hijackers and save who knows how many more lives by aborting the terrorist's plans. Pennsylvania's two U.S. senators, Arlen Specter and Rick Santorum have recommended that he and fellow passenger Thomas Burnett receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom for their heroism.
At that same Sunday evening memorial his mother read a proclamation by Mayor Willie Brown declaring "Sunday, September 16 to be Mark Bingham Day in San Francisco in recognition of his heroism" to a wildly cheering crowd of friends and family at his private memorial. Mark would have said it was no more than what needed to be done. Many of us were moved to tears.
I was the most thankful to hear that evening from one of his oldest friends that Mark had enjoyed the happiness of sharing life with someone special. How lucky Paul was to have had their 6 years together. That was the news I had been waiting to hear, and learning that my hopes for him from so long ago had come to pass have meant the most to me over this past month of remembrance.
I know that death can make almost ANYONE seem worthy of sainthood when you hear people speaking of them after they're gone, but if anyone was ever deserving of love and happiness to mirror the devotion, passion, affection and true friendship they so freely gave themselves, it was Mark.
His dream back when we were seeing each other (and I will share something personal he mentioned here just once) was that some day he'd "move away and live like Grizzly Adams in the forest. Hunting, planting and playing in the daytime and cuddling on a bear skin rug with my partner by the fireplace at night." I’m willing to bet that he found a way to live at least in the spirit of that dream along the way.
Am I outraged that Mark’s life was cut short by the selfish and irrational acts of a group of hate-spewing religious cultural extremists? Yes, at least as outraged as I was when Jerry Falwell spouted his hateful rhetoric 48 hours after the tragedy to millions on TV’s "700 Club" that gays and lesbians--along with feminists, pagans, and the ACLU – were responsible for making the acts that fateful Tuesday possible.
At least as outraged as I am that if I go to donate blood during this crisis - as thousands have - I would be turned away, because since 1985 the Food & Drug Administration will not allow blood donations from any man who admits that they’ve had sexual contact with another man – even those in long term monogamous relationships and even though all blood is tested.
At least as unhappy and disappointed that the man in a turban at my nearby 7-11 store wears the anxious and world-weary look of a person who has not only had to deal with the tragedies here in the country he has chosen to be a part of, but also the abuse of people who let their feelings run away with them in their ignorance.
Mark’s former partner Paul described him as being a bit like a Labrador retriever, bounding through life. I had to smile when I heard that, because it so well fits the young man I knew. Oftentimes Mark would ride his bicycle over to visit and I’d always hear him bounding up the stairs well before he’d knock on my door and I’d open it to collect that big hug he was so generous with.
Can I do anything to bring my friend back? No. It’s the most frustrating and upsetting thing about this entire past month. Can I do anything to ease the pain of his family and others who loved him? Probably not. Their grief is immeasurable. Can I do anything to make his sacrifice anything less of a senseless loss by working toward the ideals we both considered so vitally important: sensitivity, understanding and tolerance? Yes, I can. And I will.
So you see, Mark, you were "successful at something". And now, as I’m not very good at goodbyes I’ll just say may you rest in peace, my friend - and may we somewhere, somehow meet again.
